You might not like this, but you don't have to. It's mine.

“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.” -Anne Lamott

I once told the man that I love as more of a disclaimer than anything that I would never stay anywhere that I didn’t feel wanted. I still believe in that. After spending too many years being the type of person who allowed the wrong people to remain in my life, I learned that I actually had the power to see myself to the door and exit that storyline. And that’s a rule that I’ve followed ever since.

Some might call this cowardice. Others may deem it fearful retreat. That’s fine, but I call it strength. Because most times it’s much harder to take the exit than it is to stay. From what I’ve learned, staying is taking the comfortable route. Leaving takes courage. Leaving is a risk. Leaving is frightening. But sometimes, leaving is the only way to protect your soul.

I’ve left a lot more storylines in the last few years than I care to count, because they aren’t pleasant memories. Taking myself out of those situations was a series of choices that tore the stranger I was becoming into pieces that I didn’t like or recognize. But those were vital choices. It was the only way for me to rid myself of the heaviness that was causing me to sink. It was the only way to rebuild, rediscover and piece myself back together.

“Our prime purpose in life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” - Dalai Lama

I exited particular storylines because the characters in them had become hurtful and harmful and toxic. People are bound to hurt you, sure, but they certainly don’t have the right to destroy you. Life is far too short to let other people ruin your happiness and steal your joy.  You have the power to not let them drive you to the point of destruction. You’re not bound to anyone who doesn’t show you love. You don’t owe anything to anyone who doesn’t want you.

In my case, I left because I no longer felt wanted.  And, truthfully, these exits are some of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them.” -Maya Angelou

I’ve walked away from friends and even members of my own bloodline for the simple reason that I finally saw who they really were. I walked away for reasons that I saw, or at least sensed, all along. But I had held onto the hope that these things would change or, at the very least, fade over time. It was naïve of me to expect this. I knew that. But I had hope, nonetheless. That hope was in vain, as I have come to learn.

When people show no signs of changing, you are not required to stick by them if they no longer even vaguely resemble the person you once cared for. When people only feed you negativity, deceit and thoughtlessness, you have every right to walk away. It is each of our own responsibilities to protect and guard our souls. You do not have to stand by people who seem only to hurt you.

It’s up to us and it was up to me to make that difficult judgment call when people revealed their true self.

Let the people who shine light onto you live in your life. Let all the rest pass when their dark shadow falls on you. Gently guide them to the door. And, if you must, push.