This one is addressed to the male population of the world, because I feel you need it. Consider this my gift to you as a woman. I'm doing you a favor here, I promise you that. So listen up.
I have run into some firsthand issues when dealing with men recently and it has been frequent enough that I feel the need to help you out and offer up a tiny morsel of womanly insider trading knowledge. You're going to want to continue reading. I guarantee it.
Gentlemen (and the rest of you males), hear me and hear me well. When a woman tells you that she does not want a relationship/boyfriend, take that as truth. Do not ask questions. Do not read further into it. Do not think that you are going to be the guy that changes her mind about that. Take what she says at face value. Respect her wishes and save yourself the trouble. Understand that she means what she's saying, accept that, move on, save your precious time and energy for someone who is going appreciate you and actually give you a second of her time, and call it a day.
This girl that you are currently trying to sweep off her feet is not interested. Plain and simple. And more likely than not, she is honestly and sincerely trying her hardest not to hurt your feelings by letting you down easy. It may be that she is genuinely not interested in having a boyfriend at this point in time, but it might also be that she is even more genuinely not interested in you. Period. I can almost guarantee that this girl responds to you with one word answers, never talks to you first, and doesn't suggest hanging out. Ever. In any way. She answers your questions and politely turns down your offers, but very little else. Sound familiar? These are all sure-fire signs of a woman who has no interest in building a relationship with you. So, for your own sake, take the hint. It really is in your best interest to give up the chase this time. In this case, the more times you swing does not increase your chances of hitting a home run. You're going to strikeout. Every time. You have my word.
And just because I really do care about the men of the world, I'm going to provide you with a little added bonus. We're going to have a lightning round of what NOT to do if you're trying to get the girl. DO NOT, under ANY circumstances ever: try to pry information out of her, insult her exes no matter how big of jerks they were or how much she may resent them, blame her...for ANYTHING, try to compare your situation to hers (It's not the same, stop trying to make her think you have things in common. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. Period.), act like her boyfriend, call her pet names, remind her that she is emotionally unavailable (Believe me, she knows.), be clingy and/or needy, try to talk to her every minute of everyday, rush her, play the pity card, ask her out multiple times if she's already turned you down (She's not playing hard to get. Get that out of your head.), try to use her as your rebound girl, stalk her (either physically or the cyber variety), try to be a home wrecker, interpret her sarcasm as flirtation, or be pushy with her (persistence is not always flattering). But, most importantly, NEVER disregard the things she says because it's not what you want to hear. Selectively listening is not cute. NONE of these things are going to drive her into your arms. Just take my word for it.
Now that we've taken care of what NOT to do, let me educate you on what actually works. Here are some things that us ladies do find attractive: Sincerity and honesty. Genuine chivalry. Having a clever, intelligent sense of humor. Respecting our space. Treating us as equal human beings. Being able to take a hint and read the signs. Being able to hold a substantial and even thought provoking conversation. Allowing us to move at our own pace and not trying to rush us into things. Accepting us exactly as we come. Being true to your word. Having genuine concern for other people and their feelings. Approaching life with humility. Being a decent human being. It's really very simple, we're not asking for much. The good girls are looking for nice guys. Be one. Simple as that.
This all may come off a bit harsh, but a little tough love never hurt anyone. So, now that you have a little lesson in Not Being A Total Tool 101 under your belt, go out and show the world what you have learned. You might even find that being a legitimately nice guy is better than whatever it was you thought you were doing before. It may take some practice, but I have faith in you. In the meantime, you're welcome.
No comments:
Post a Comment